Conditioning is like ‘we are used to it that way’ and can be a block for our mind ending up in any activity becoming an automatic habit. We are conditioned day in & day out from sleep to eating, talking to enjoying, what is & what is not & so on.
In this process, we end up spending most of our daily life very mechanically and habitually stuck with immediate results & fail to foresee long term effects. We just do it because that’s how “we are used to” until a strong blow comes our way. Conditioning closes our mind for fresh experiences in life, for the conditioned mind already creates the experience even before one does an action. It can stagnate our life from growing up towards unknown that we conveniently refuse to think about such as “what if” i lose job, loved person and so on sometimes ending in guilt & regrets irreparable.
Doing something consiously by taking fresh look & open mind from time to time can save us from regrets of unable to pull time for what we always wanted to but ended up with no time. Be it your passion, interests, nourishing valued relation and many more, for life is short and can come to end anytime🙏
In this world we live in,there are innumerable daily distractions that can make us aimless & wasting precious time. Let’s observe it a little closely. From the time we wake up, even before up from bed we have many preoccupations about what & how to do things, face people and handle day to day chores. for eg; a school going child has worries about completing home work, attending classes, handling peer pressures and so on; youngsters about career, future and relational issues to quote a few. More distractions are for adults and they end up thinking (some call it multi-tasking) work completion, budget planning, social interactions so on.
These are daily requirements, how can we call them distractions? They end up as distractions when we think of one while doing another activity and ending up some how completing or meeting requirements. Distracted mind cannot meet quality, one can just complete the task.What results we can expect? half-done job. Instead if one can think & do one task at a time, one’s productivity can be maximum. How it is possible while we have so much to complete each day? Possible if you plan ahead, organize and follow rule of MODERATION in all task achievement. May not sound encouraging for aspirants who quickly want to climb up the ladder of competition. Another distraction COMPETING, with whom & for what?
Each one of us has our unique capabilities. Focus on our strengths & giving our best, instead of running for what one is not good at. Making one’s interest/ aptitude as a career saves a lot of run around. Then you will put your heart in that & invariably will do your best. Keep some free time on daily basis to run through your daily done routine. Plan better for next day. Golden rule is always plan less than what you think you can handle, if you can do more than planned it will give you ”feel good” like a self pat on your back. Being one-pointed & aim for quality makes you feel happy & satisfied at end of each day.🙏
Counselling is a general term used in a casual sense. A professional counselling differs in significant ways compared to general opinion of a convincing, understanding or influencing someone towards something. Professinal counselling does more than that. Let’s know how?
All the so called convincing/ understanding are just a step forward. Actual professional counselling is focused on “introspecting” or closely observing one’s situation/ opinion towards a healthy handling at present & for future.This process of looking closely at oneself through guided counsellor who acts as a mirror to visualize oneself without any defenses & working towards correcting oneself not only in concerned area but, able to generalize to new areas in future.
If unwilling to CHANGE oneself towards better, then professional counsellling is of not much help. It is meant for changing oneself than changing others. Of course over a period of time, your change might change others as well, but that is not the primary goal or purpose of professional counselling.
We all want to be productive in our life but then most of us associate productivity with earning money and other material possessions. How many of us really work towards productive (meaningful) relationships, meaningful learning and outcomes like that?
It is not our fault because this is the way we have been conditioned. We want to see/enjoy/ feel what we have earned and invariably end up collecting lot of material around us. Then we end up worrying how to protect our possessions.
It is important that we associate our productivity with gaining and giving happiness on a daily basis than enjoying our possessions. How is it possible? It is possible by being content and giving without expecting, and being conscious or aware of our actions, making sure we do not hurt others or ourselves.
We live in a society where negative feelings like anger, sadness, upset, frustration, fear, tension, scared often overwhelm our routine life. Emotions are not something that can be easily hidden, whether positive or negative. It invariably finds its expression in some way.
Constructive expression of negative emotions is an effort by itself. It has to be learnt. The earlier the age, the better you learn to express them in an acceptable way. Children and even adults who are introverted, socially inhibited by nature may find difficulty in expressing emotions amicably.
The ability to express emotions in some form, whether speaking, writing, through art, is essential. Otherwise, they may damage the very existence of a healthy living. How to do that? The rule is not do damage you or others but choosing a safe way to express these emotions. Direct verbal expression, writing, painting and your own creative ways can help you to push out these negative emotions from your system, from time to time, before they damage you.
Someone hiding facts, looking for others emotional reactions, using them towards their advantage were the characteristics of a typical manipulator.They appear as if your best well-wishers, can be sugary sweet speakers but, in reality they are your emotional drainers, space crampers. Sounding blunt, but there are these relations worth keeping safe emotional distance.
They are experts in taking you for free guilt trips.The more emotional you are, the more easy to induce guilt. These so called manipulators are easy to identify with little careful observation. Almost always they blame the situation or others for their suffering, paint picture of being a victim, most important to notice they do it with deliberate intention, Your guilt is their feed to blame you.
But why do they do it? Some people when they go through extremely damaging hurt / stress in their life, over a period they learn this faulty coping mechanism as a way of protecting themselves. Other possibilities could be active modelling of a close family member in their growing up period (childhood) where they found it rewarding or relieving from stress. Over period they grow upto be habitual manipulators. If you think they are outsiders, mistaken, they are your own emotionally related family members. No escape, learn to survive😟
Desiring happy married life is a dream for youngsters wishing companionship or understanding partner and so on…But in reality one is attracted to a person with opposite or different nature. Let me explain it, a social one attracted to calm person like that. Unaware of this attraction to opposite character(s) couple busy looking for similarities inviting friction. It’s like choosing a calm going life partner & unhappy that he or she is not social.
The tug of war starts when each of the partner try to pull the other for their liking , be it food, life style choices etc. Instead learning and opening to each other makes relation more fulfilling and complete. This is possible by accommodating, compromising and accepting each others limitations & appreciating strengths. Happy Married Life then worth wishing👫
Sounds great. But how many of us can handle freedom? Freedom comes with its own risks and you are responsible for your actions and for how those actions may impact others. Making choices is something that can help healthy growth. But what if we are unsure of the success or failure that accompanies our choice? Is freedom still worth it?
If you can take “failure” as a learning experience and “success” as a good outcome that can possibly be improved upon, then freedom is worth it. Taking risks and making choices with responsibility for our actions helps us enjoy the freedom, no matter whether you “pass” or “fail”. You will be able to handle your freedom.
Wonder what this is about? Let me explain. We are undeniably living in an age of uncertainty with intolerant & judgemental environment around us leading to constant stress in daily life, especially if one is success/ achievement oriented. In this process, without our conscious notice we are working towards an immediate reward that seemingly relieves stress at the cost of long-term loss.
Wonder still where in & what context this makes sense? When we express anger on someone (of course for genuine reasons) they immediately respond in someway, young child by obeying, adult by fear or some other way of reaction. This is rewarding immediately as it elicits a response, but possibly in the long run it ends in distancing those persons.
To quote another scenario, our bread winning education system is entirely oriented towards financial gain alone, but are we happy by earning alone in our life at the cost of losing peaceful & stressfree life? Further more our daily eating habits of eating out mostly and temptation for fast & unhealthy food provides istant taste gratification but at the cost of obesity & health risks.
Point I am trying to make is about our impulsive reactions helping immediate relief leading to long-term loss. “Think before you act” is all the message as to how your own behavior backfires leading to long-term loss. Food for thought 👀