We live in a society where negative feelings like anger, sadness, upset, frustration, fear, tension, scared often overwhelm our routine life. Emotions are not something that can be easily hidden, whether positive or negative. It invariably finds its expression in some way.
Constructive expression of negative emotions is an effort by itself. It has to be learnt. The earlier the age, the better you learn to express them in an acceptable way. Children and even adults who are introverted, socially inhibited by nature may find difficulty in expressing emotions amicably.
The ability to express emotions in some form, whether speaking, writing, through art, is essential. Otherwise, they may damage the very existence of a healthy living. How to do that? The rule is not do damage you or others but choosing a safe way to express these emotions. Direct verbal expression, writing, painting and your own creative ways can help you to push out these negative emotions from your system, from time to time, before they damage you.
Someone hiding facts, looking for others emotional reactions, using them towards their advantage were the characteristics of a typical manipulator.They appear as if your best well-wishers, can be sugary sweet speakers but, in reality they are your emotional drainers, space crampers. Sounding blunt, but there are these relations worth keeping safe emotional distance.
They are experts in taking you for free guilt trips.The more emotional you are, the more easy to induce guilt. These so called manipulators are easy to identify with little careful observation. Almost always they blame the situation or others for their suffering, paint picture of being a victim, most important to notice they do it with deliberate intention, Your guilt is their feed to blame you.
But why do they do it? Some people when they go through extremely damaging hurt / stress in their life, over a period they learn this faulty coping mechanism as a way of protecting themselves. Other possibilities could be active modelling of a close family member in their growing up period (childhood) where they found it rewarding or relieving from stress. Over period they grow upto be habitual manipulators. If you think they are outsiders, mistaken, they are your own emotionally related family members. No escape, learn to survive😟
Desiring happy married life is a dream for youngsters wishing companionship or understanding partner and so on…But in reality one is attracted to a person with opposite or different nature. Let me explain it, a social one attracted to calm person like that. Unaware of this attraction to opposite character(s) couple busy looking for similarities inviting friction. It’s like choosing a calm going life partner & unhappy that he or she is not social.
The tug of war starts when each of the partner try to pull the other for their liking , be it food, life style choices etc. Instead learning and opening to each other makes relation more fulfilling and complete. This is possible by accommodating, compromising and accepting each others limitations & appreciating strengths. Happy Married Life then worth wishing👫
Sounds great. But how many of us can handle freedom? Freedom comes with its own risks and you are responsible for your actions and for how those actions may impact others. Making choices is something that can help healthy growth. But what if we are unsure of the success or failure that accompanies our choice? Is freedom still worth it?
If you can take “failure” as a learning experience and “success” as a good outcome that can possibly be improved upon, then freedom is worth it. Taking risks and making choices with responsibility for our actions helps us enjoy the freedom, no matter whether you “pass” or “fail”. You will be able to handle your freedom.
Wonder what this is about? Let me explain. We are undeniably living in an age of uncertainty with intolerant & judgemental environment around us leading to constant stress in daily life, especially if one is success/ achievement oriented. In this process, without our conscious notice we are working towards an immediate reward that seemingly relieves stress at the cost of long-term loss.
Wonder still where in & what context this makes sense? When we express anger on someone (of course for genuine reasons) they immediately respond in someway, young child by obeying, adult by fear or some other way of reaction. This is rewarding immediately as it elicits a response, but possibly in the long run it ends in distancing those persons.
To quote another scenario, our bread winning education system is entirely oriented towards financial gain alone, but are we happy by earning alone in our life at the cost of losing peaceful & stressfree life? Further more our daily eating habits of eating out mostly and temptation for fast & unhealthy food provides istant taste gratification but at the cost of obesity & health risks.
Point I am trying to make is about our impulsive reactions helping immediate relief leading to long-term loss. “Think before you act” is all the message as to how your own behavior backfires leading to long-term loss. Food for thought 👀
We are from a country of rich value system that is respected worldwide, but how much do we value it? Let’s look into the matter.Value system /ethics is a vital aspect in everyone’s personality growth, especially during adolescence where every thing happening around is questioned by oneself. Adolescence is a right period to instill value system due to it’s state of mouldability / flexibility.
Let’s try to understand what this value system is all about. Do not waste food & water, be kind to suffering, respect fellow beings, etc etc. are values we often hear. Our present life seem to revolve on reward system. “I give this because, you give me this & that. What if someone/ parent/spouse can’t give much of what one want, then are they unworthy of affection/ kindness?” Sounds sick, is it not?
Seeds we sow give us the fruits. Let us think little seriously whether we have a value system as adults that we believe in & follow which we can try to instill in our children? Love & food are provided by animals also to their offspring, it’s a biological instinct, and needs no great effort. Real effort need to be given for cultivating right value system of giving without expecting, being self-sufficient & growing as a happy individual physically, psychologically & morally.
How many parents today are convinced about our education system? While the entire world is changing and evolving rapidly, our education system seems to stand where it was.
Education or learning is a lifelong process. It does not restrict itself to school or college or the acquisition of degrees. Those are only to win your daily bread. The real purpose of education should be gaining knowledge in an area of interest.
Education or schooling for children should be a pleasant journey to figure out their interests, aptitude and skills and building their life on them for the future. Education is not a tool for to fulfil or meet the unmet wishes of parents. Let us be sensible as parents and nourish the interested areas in our children which can promote life long joyous learning for our future generation. Change has to start from an individual, then it slowly moves to cover a society. It is not really required that we have to follow people around us always and make our children suffer. Instead, identify the interests of your children and nourish those interests for their future careers.
Balancing your emotions and reasoning (logic) are like two sides of the same coin. Emotions whether positive (happiness, relaxed) or negative (anger, redness, fear, tension) makes one stirred up or shakes one’s whole being till you express them in some form. Similarly, logic, reasoning or practical problem solving is equally important to handle daily short term & also future long term problems. Both emotions and reasoning have to be balanced.
If one is too emotional, then one might not be rational and vice versa. It is always better to be practical but one should also be able to connect emotionally. The so called emotionally balanced person can live life to the fullest than the extremes of too emotional or too rational or logical people. Too emotional or too logical may disturb one’s smooth sailing.
We all desire happiness. Some by gaining material possessions, others by socializing, some by doing activities alone. However, over a period of time all these change, lose meaning and search for happiness starts again. Basis for happiness is not collecting baggages (material or emotional). Then what gives us happiness? It varies with each person but we all in common desire happiness.
To achieve happiness one needs to be in constant search by self-enquiry & facing life as it unfolds, be willing to change & be open to recieve unexpected life happenings on this journey. Then happiness discovers you or rather you discuss happiness.
Argument is when you want to prove your opinion or point at the cost of winning over the situation/person you are arguing with. However, discussion is more of an openness towards considering the other persons opinion as a possibility in spite of it being contrary to your opinion. Arguments may end up in fights, where as a discussion helps us to be more open,tolerant and indicates respect for others opinion. Discussion gives openness towards a healthy relation and willingness to change your opinion based on reasoning.
Another important point is that discussion helps to develop mutual respect whereas an argument often leads to trying to put down or degrade the other person or their opinion.
Wishing you many more healthy discussions!